So, it’s been a while – more than a month in fact. I’m annoyed at myself for not writing sooner actually because it’s something I happen to love doing. I’ve had ideas, therefore have kept a little list so I could come back to them and I plan to come back to every single one of them.
So here’s what’s up. I’m 21 and I realised that I didn’t really know much about being myself. I had no clue what my personal style was, who I could turn too and what I was about as a person. Also, I realised just how important it is to be comfortable in your own skin and how can you be comfortable within yourself if you have no idea who you are? So I decided this had to change.
So this is what I’ve changed over the past couple of months.
1. I’ve stopped seeking approval. Previously, if I wanted to do something it didn’t matter how big or how small the thing was, I would always feel the need to get people’s approval. Of course it’s nice to get opinions but that should in no way sway what you want to do. Even if I didn’t like their answer, I used to go with it because I felt they always knew better and that they were right. I also used to worry that I was missing out all the time so would make myself go to events or meet ups that I knew really weren’t going to make me happy. I don’t worry about that anymore, I’m not really sure why but I just don’t really care.
2. Friends. They say you should surround yourself with people that are going to lift you higher, people who will challenge you and celebrate your achievements. If you are around people who don’t seem to care about you or who only want to hang out with you when there is no one else around, then are they really a positive influence in your life? The answer is probably no.
I think this has been the most important change of all. I’ve realised that the people you are friends with, don’t necessarily have your back when you thought they did. I’ve learnt to appreciate the friends that are truly there for me, even if there are less. Less really is more in this case. I’d rather have 3 friends that I know are there for me as I am for them than be stood in a crowd of people, looking around knowing that if I was to need any of their help, none of them would be there for me. Bending over backwards for people who wouldn’t do the same for you is just exhausting and really not worth your time.
3. I’ve stopped caring about what people think of me. I used to be so worried that people were judging me for everything I did. I was worrying about simple little things like walking through a town centre alone because I thought people were laughing at me. One day I just decided that even if they were laughing at me, I didn’t care anymore and it was the most uplifting thing EVER.
4. Finding me. I think finding who you are as a person is a life long job as you are always changing. The aspect of ‘finding me’ that desperately needed work was finding my personal style. I used to dread shopping because I never knew what I liked and what suited me, it just felt a bit all over the place. I found that Pinterest was the best thing ever for this. I built up a board of all the clothes I liked and thought I would feel comfortable in. Soon I saw a major pattern developing which made it easier for me to go through my wardrobes and find the clothes that fitted that style. Now I know exactly what I’m looking for and that makes me so much happier.
5. Spending time with myself and learning self care. I think this is key. You can truly grow as a person, gain confidence and discover the things you love. We often dish out advice to friends and loved ones about looking after themselves but how often do we apply that to ourselves. Most of the advice we give to these people is supportive and loving, only looking at what is best for them so why do we not do the same when we are in similar situations? I believe it is because we think we are undeserving of this and are highly critical of the person we are. I think we should all be easier on ourselves instead of trying to be our idea of perfection all the time.
There are so many other little things I have changed recently but these are the main ones. It is so important to practice self care and appreciate yourself. At the end of the day, you know you. People will always have an opinion but if it is to do with you then always go with what you want and what you feel is right. If you go with other people’s views over your own, you will not be truly happy. As well as this, I always remind myself that people will get used to change eventually so if you want to do something then do it and even if they don’t like it, they will grow to accept it in the end.